Mike Boyd and the Genesee Ramblers

by Mike Boyd

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released March 23, 2016



all rights reserved


Mike Boyd Metamora, Michigan

Well, here we are!
The Genesee Ramblers Variety Show offers just what you need. A little (but not too much of) Country, Rockabilly, Rock and Roll, Delta Blues, Soul, Acoustic and Electric Bluegrass, and Swamp.

Pat plays the stand up bass and I play everything else on these except where noted. Thanks for checking out our camp!
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Track Name: The East Tennessee Hi-Ball
I was conked out on 75
Pretty 'lil alumni by my side
She whipped out her cup
And said roll the windows up
You don't want this stuff to blow away.

We made it down Knoxville ways..
My baby decides to call it a day
She said "I got a man in Richmond
And his ex-wife's pension
I'll see you on some busy Friday."

That truckers little helper kicked in
And the hair in my nose turned green
The lights started flashing
Like a casino ashtray
So i melted on down to Birmingham

The engine started clicking and a clanking
So I put a little bourbon in the tank
Man we started flying
I was halfway to Tuscon
High as a refund in the bank

I'm crooked as a recovery plan
I'm crafty as a republican
Every now and then
I leave town for no reason
You'll never see my drunken ass again.
Track Name: Give You All My Lovin (and then a little more)
You can get up baby
Come dance with me
But I don't like rockin'
'Till well after 0300

Give you all my lovin
And then a little more
Give you all my lovin
And then a little more
You don't know what I got in store for you

She did a little bop
And then started t wail
It measured 7.9
On the Richter Scale.

You can light the flares
You can dodge the wreck
You can light the candles
For special effect.
Track Name: Half a Chance
I’m so glad baby you said your heart is only mine
Lend me your saddle and I’ll take you for a ride
Down to Shreveport, in the shivering cold
And I got propane and a brand-new stove
I’ve got Old Crow and a couple of bowls
I’ve got elbows and a mean fork-ball

She said, “yea.”
Give me love
Give me friendship
Give me heartache
Give me ding-ding
And I’ll show you how far half a chance can go…

Now you don’t like rich boys, they want to breed you too quick
And you don’t like poor boys, there’s too much to fix
So, you’re out there, just rolling along
Like a steamship trolling along.
He’s got Roget’s just to woo you along.
He gets tactful when he wants to get some
He says, “Yes.” “No.” “Maybe.” “I guess so.”
But first, let me show you how far half a chance can go…

Some day pretty baby, you’re going to settle down.
Decals on your S-10 and you ‘ll be yappin’ about
how you love him but not for his wealth
you can please him but you don't please yourself.
You get happy when he’s out of control.
You get angry for no reason at all.
He says, “Love, I love you. I need you.
But this is the biggest televised game of the year.”
Track Name: Lay Low
Preacher roamed throughout the land
carried the good book in his hand.
The good book said, “Just be nice.”
“Feed the poor or pay the price.”
Lay low, lay low.
I’m going to melt you down before you go.
Lay low, baby lay low
I’m going to save your mind,
Save your soul.

I gotta a gal as weird as me.
She hears voices in her dreams.
The dreams tell her to walk the streets
With all of the creeps.
Lay low, lay low.
Better leave the lights on before you go.
Lay low, lay low.
I’m dreaming of you in southern Ohio.

Drink your Sprite and burn you sage
Read your Faulkner and wear your beige
I’ll take Waits and Nicolas Cage
And booze them back to the Copper Age.
I’m gonna lay low, lay low.
Better finish off your glass before you go.
Lay low, baby, lay low.
I’m going to rosin up your pillow.

Take your lover and get them drunk
Till they’re happy as a gutter punk.
Take the gutter punk to bed,
And leave your lover home instead…
Lay low, lay low
I’m gonna to bake you down before you go.
Lay low, lay low.
I’m gonna sneak a kiss like a desparado

Me and Sin got a special deal
I take the gun
He takes the wheel…
Go to give my lover a kiss,
Come to find out there’s a waiting list.
Lay low, lay low
I’m gonna break your heart before you know it.
Lay low, lay low
I’m taking little cuts with my eyes closed.
Lay low, lay low….

Jerk off the poor and screw the rich
The President has to pay for a glimpse
Gather around and make a little love
The man’s going to blow us back to Pangaea.
Honey Lay low, baby lay low
I’ll make you a coffin of solid gold
Lay low, lay low
Your daughter hand for a gallon of oil.
Lay low, lay low….
Track Name: The Mean Old Stoner Blues
This party is getting ugly
And there's dust in my beer
This party is getting ugly
There's rust in my beer
I'll drive you home honey
If you show me how to steer.

This roads getting lonely
And it's all covered with snow
This roads getting lonely
And it's all covered with snow
When I get to the Yukon
Hope they saved me some gold.

My baby says "honey why you smoke
and drink like you do"
My baby says "honey why you smoke
and drink like you do"
Nowdays it gets hard
For an old pirate to keep his cool.

If you wanna know how
To make a good girl blue
If you wanna know how
To make a good girl blue.
Tell her that you love her
And you'll always be true.

If you walk past my grave
When I'm dead and gone
If you walk past my grave
When I'm dead and gone
Leave a couple bucks on my tombstone
I'll see if I can bring you along.
Track Name: I Ain't Talkin No More Blues Ya..
You've got too much city pride
The boys line up to take you for a ride
Every little blemish you're paying attention
I won't play that game no more

My grandpappy worked on all these rails
I still sleep under the trestle.
I won't have to tuss my brow and
I won't have to milk your cow
I won't jump your fence no more..

I don't need no hundred millions.
I need a tank car full of Evan Williams
You fake, I'll flinch
Hope I die before I get filthy rich
I won't take the High Road anymore

Ain't no coal left in Pennsylvania
Ain't no cars left in Flint.
We're all asleep at the wheel of fortunia
Petunias won't grow in your garden no more

Another tooth fell out from too much brushing
Another crush went sour from too much caution.
Tell me who's gonna watch the pets
Who's gonna beat the kids in the middle of Target
I won't push your cart no more.

Tell me how am i gonna get my rest
I'm pole position in the stupid contest
Every time I hit that Wild Irish Rose
I get so messed up and try to propose to you
I won't call you up no more. woohoo..
Track Name: The Stumblin' Blues
Running with the devil
Just like polishing your grave
He gonna take your soul
Gonna make you count your days and I

Hope he don't catch me, lord
I'm dodging left and right
I'm swerving of the turnpike
Staying up all night.

Riding these old rails
Just like gambling with your life
Brakeman gonna bust you
Gonna send you down the line.

You''ll be sleeping in a cold cell
Walking on a bed of nails
Ol' angel ain't gonna guide you
Ol' wishbone ain't gonna break.

Cheatin on a pretty woman
Just like drownin' in strychnine
She gonna find out someday
Gonna buy a brand new knife

Gonna cut your head wide open
Gonna stab you once or twice
Gonna treat you cold as ice
Better find a brand new vice.

Heartache and vengeance
Gonna cauterize your mind
OD at the rest stop
You're running out of time

Talking yourself in circles
Calling up your ex girlfriend
Four o'clock in the morning
Whining about how you changed.
Track Name: I'm Gonna Rise Again.
Lookie here mama I'm sad and blue
Got flat-line women with blood in their stew.
Oh lord I'm gonna rise again

Got me a church with a big 'ol steeple
Throw down the pen and fill up a needle
Oh lord I'm gonna rise again.

It's ten in the morning I'm crawling home
I never sleep, you never sleep alone.
I'm gonna rise
You be cryin' and I'll be muggin'
Always gets worse before it gets ugly
Oh lord I'm gonna rise again.

Some people think they're really roughing it
Take away the water and give them a plunger
Oh lord...
Tell me what did I say, what did I do?
To make that boy stop flirting with you
Oh lord, I'm gonna rise again..
Track Name: Hello Bottle
Hello bottle,nice to see you
Fancy seeing you in front of me
Cause you see..
I got all these worried
I got all these troubles
And I want them to be there tomorrow.

Hello pills, let me tell you
I could be the optimist
You'd call me half sober
Think it over
I got a worn out shed
And a few friends left
And I hope they, find me tomorrow

Hello paycheck
Sure need you
Cant wait to pretend I'm rich
And buy some Advil, for the anvil
That will fall like a feather on my head
When I smell your pretty hair tomorrow

Hello ex, sure miss you
Are you flirting with someone new
To make sure you got it.
Well you got it.
You had it, up to here
And my stuff, will be gone tomorrow

Hello mayhem
There's a reason
That you keep putting sugar in my coffee
And I'm off key
You're a good dream
You're a sweet pea.
Won't you stay with me.
And help me, wake up tomorrow
Track Name: Take This Sinner on Home
I'm nobodies slave and i sure ain't your boss
Won't you take this sinner on home.
And I cursed the last dollar that I've ever lost
Won't you take this sinner on home.

Had a good hearted woman that I treated so bad
She got even, nearly drove me mad

My good ol' shovel won't carry the load
Sober as a judge I can't stay on the road.
On my best behavior, I can't make parole

The water won't flow and the stove won't burn
The belts have worn down and the engine won't turn

Oh preacher oh preacher, I can't be saved.
But my credit's so bad, I gotta mortgage my grave.

Lick a pine tree, you won't get any gin.
And a hard-luck dame, she'll never give in.
And an Easy-Pick, it never wins.

I was the last fling for another man's bride
Done spilled every secret that she did confide
Now the safety's off and he's waiting outside
Won't you carry this sinner on home..
Track Name: A Midwesterners Tale
Now the worst part about being in love..
Is telepathy
Well, anything pathic, really
Standing in front of the TV
With a coat hanger
Acting like you're well received.

The best part about being wealthy
The IRS is your only worry
They got it all wrong
Money can buy you love
Take a look around..
Years and years and years of love.

Now the weird part about God..
Is the trailer furnished?
'Cause if you got faith and a good oven
You can always keep the Lord a'simmerin'
Track Name: Hard Luck Drinkin'
He're I am stumbin'
At your door again
I know I'm not a pretty sight
All sped up on..that Sloe gin.
I start chewing before I
even eat a bite..

And I hope it's the last time
No more hard luck drinking
And long shot women tonight.

I said honey, I'm in danger
Of completely losing my mind
She said "get out, I could care less
You're useless it looks good on a resume"

You will see me
Pounding nails, boy
You will see me
At the gym.
I'll be sensitive and I'll be tough
When I make a million dollars
Be a folk singer and write it off.
Track Name: Lord Have Mercy Mama
Well get dry and you learn how to drill
Crops get heavy and you learn how to till
I got reckless when I should'a been carefree
Driving Miss. jealous when I should'a have had lechery

Broke down crankcase and a cheap home remedy
Lord have mercy momma look what i done to me.
Track Name: Nipulatin' Woman
That Nipulatin woman
Knows how to get what she wants
Put herself in your dreams
Spend your money till dawn

I'm going to the church, lord
Gonna pray all night long
I won't come home
'Till that old devil leaves me alone.

I see your other man
sneakin' inside your door
When one's had enough
Another one's coming back for more
Track Name: Pick and Choose
You had to mess around and break the news
Had to tell another boy to stay away from you.
It must be hard to pick and choose
Turn that hunk back into a baboon

She.. kissed me once and said
"you're trying to hard
Don't cry baby we didn't go too far
Your favorite star is a little red dwarf
Your favorite bar is your own front porch"

Hey.. You done messed your mind
She's a bearded rainbow, I'm colorblind
My sense of humor used to be kind
Now my patience just won't unwind
Put a little insurance on your behind.

What a chance to take
You took a hooker to your brother's wake
Put a little curse in the wedding cake
Put a little bluff in your last handshake
Put a little heaven in your boyfriends lake
Pretty as a pension check.

When the hour is right.
Drink like Proust and go all night
Get into a sexy little fight
You crack a joke and i just might.
Track Name: The Next to the Last John Henry Blues
The next to the last John Henry was a stubborn old coot.
He moved down to Florida to die.
Complained about everything he ate.
Cut down everyone he saw
Tried to live vicariously through college football
And he died with his golf clubs in his hand..

The next John Henry was three months old
Till his daddy realized what he had done.
He said I used to sleep at night
And me and momma just had a little fight
And he died with his father in his hands

Next John Henry was a high school queen
Voted most like to be an heiress.
Beauty school never got the part
And those quarterback eyes won her heart.
So she stuck with it.

Until one good drunk new year they'd both had enough
He said 'Honey I'm moving to Vegas
And you can call my bluff
And she died with her curlers in her hair..

The next John Henry was a cheap fly swatter
In the diner where you met your last lover
He said "Honey the thing I love most about you
Is your flaws"
As he passed out face down in his cole slaw
And you'll die with something in your hands.

I'm the next John Henry, God called me up
He said "Boy, we need a new prophet"
"Those other three and the shrink wrapped
Cranberry didn't cut it. So just follow me
And they'll get a kick out of it..
And you'll die with a choke chain in your hand.."